Random picture I found on my old myspace from June 2009 at our annual family camp. This is my cousin Anthony just being his normal silly self. He passed away just this past April….wow. It’s crazy for me to reread that ^ I keep rereading it and it just sounds so….strange. Like did that really happen? To this day I ask myself why.. why did he get cancer. Why is cancer that strong and powerful in such a short amount of time? I know I may never know the answer to these questions, but it sure does hurt every time I think about it. I’ll never get the chance to be with him, to get his ginormous bear hugs, hanging out whenever we went to Brawley. It’s just so different without him around. Whenever we go to Brawley now, we go and visit his tombstone… and that’s a trip in itself. I’d never think that someone that close to me would get taken from us in an instant. I think about it every day so it’s always fresh in my mind. I will never forget the last few days with him in the hospital. Seeing him helpless and struggling to survive, broke my heart in a thousand pieces… every time we went to visit him. Every struggle that I thought I had, was nothing compared to what he was going through at that very moment. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going on in his head, knowing how weak he was getting, did he know that his hours were limited on earth? I mean, I’m sure he did…so what can you really do? It frustrates me just thinking about the word “cancer”. I hate it and everything that it comes with. If I had one wish, I’d ask for one day with my cousin. Just one day. So we could do all things that we had planned to do. We had so many plans for the future… it breaks my heart. </3

I miss his humor, his wisdom, his strength, and his love…. Anthony, I miss you so much. :’(